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Entries in 0/10 (21)

Monday
Apr282014

DRY DOCK

Dry Dock, brewed by someone for Pinnacle Liquour. This is shite. Manufactured to compete in the Australian market with Tooheys Extra Dry, Hahn Super Dry, Carlton Dry and ad infinitum, or ad nauseam might be a better term.

I wouldn’t use this for batter, maybe for snail killer, but I might have the RSPCA after me.

Pour it down the sink. I don’t think that advice would offend any brewer.

 

0/10

Sunday
Feb162014

XXXX GOLD

XXXX Gold. This beer hit the market in 1991 and is widely regarded as Queensland’s answer to Victoria Bitter (VB).

In 2012, XXXX Gold reached a market share of 12.4% overtaking VB (12.3%) and claiming the title of highest market share beer of all beer sold in Australia, a title which VB had held for over two decades.

Under new owner SABMiller VB was relaunched which saw the alcohol content changed back to 4.9% from 4.6% and the re-introduction of the old school VB logo. Bogans everywhere rejoiced and their strategy worked. In early 2013 VB reached a 12.2% market share compared to XXXX Gold’s 11.9%. While back on top it was a far cry from the 25% market share they held in 2000. 

This beer is one of the worst kinds possible - mid-strength (3.5% ABV) AND low carb. The only way it could be worse was if it was alcohol and gluten free. I subjected myself to this beer on a dive boat after a day of scuba diving. It was either this or Corona.

Metallic and sulphur aroma. Thin body with an almost non existent flavour. If you close your eyes and think hard you still can’t believe it’s beer. It tastes more like soda water. To add insult to injury on the can it says 'full flavoured lower carb'.

Filth.

 

0/10

Monday
Dec232013

MATSO’S BROOME BREWERY CHILLI BEER

Matso’s Broome Brewery Chilli Beer. “Probably the hottest beer in the world”. After watching fellow Beerios Shane Maguire and Scott Ellis spit out Cave Creek Chili Beer I cannot believe that this is hotter. It is drinkable; it is just not very enjoyable.

It pours insipidly pale with a thin head that disappears. It has the aroma of an average Pilsner and no flavour. The chilli heat hits the back palate and that’s all there is to this beer.

This is all fire and no flavour. No redeeming features.

 

0/10

Monday
Sep302013

MILLER CHILL

Miller Chill. This might be a Shandy or Radler in Australia, but in the USA it fits into the Chelada style; beer, lime juice and assorted spices and sauces. Thank God it does not contain Clamato. Just to add insult to injury, it is also low carb.

I placed it in front of the bar to make the almost clear liquid look better. It has a pleasant citrus aroma and an initially refreshing citrus flavour. I think that this is low beer as well as low carb.

This is a beer that everyone should try, just to reassure themselves that what they normally drink is OK. I could not finish it.

 

0/10

Thursday
Mar142013

SCHNITZER BRAU GERMAN HIRSE

Schnitzer Brau German Hirse Premium. Organic Gluten Free Beer (apparently not pea-protein free beer). Obviously the Reinheitsgebot is not still in force.

The background of the photo enhances this pale insipid beer to a level of richness it just doesn't have. An earthy aroma; dust from the millet brooms used in the brew? Then a disgusting, sour taste.

With every mouthful, I am grateful that Celiac Disease is not contagious.


0/10

Monday
Feb112013

O’BRIEN GLUTEN FREE PALE ALE

O’Brien Gluten Free Pale Ale. Fellow Beerio Chris Aylen suggested that O’Brien Premium Lager is a beer that everyone should try once. I’m not much of a lager fan, so I tried the Pale Ale.

No aroma, indecipherable taste. It wasn’t disgusting, so I threw caution to the wind and filled the glass. As I approached the half way mark it started to make me feel ill. A small medical drama called me away for a couple of hours and I put the half glass in the fridge.

On returning to the beer emitted a putrid smell. Not quite BeerLao putrid, but I took two sips and dumped it.

This is made with Millet and Sorghum. Not sure about Sorghum, but I think they should stick to making yard brooms with the Millet.

 

0/10

Saturday
Jan192013

O'BRIENS PREMIUM LAGER

O'Briens Premium Lager. This is an amazing beer that everyone should try once!

Not because its fantastic, in fact, it's not.  But for anyone who wants to try different beers, its important to get a full understanding of the breadth of beers - from the very best, to the very worst.

To be fair, gluten free beers probably aren't targeted at your usual beer drinking market.  They are targeted at those poor buggers who havent had a beer in 20 years because of a gluten intolerance so this is (to them), better than nothing.

To everyone else, this is weird, and not in a good way.  It has a fundamentally wrong taste that doesnt taste like beer in any way and as a result, I only drank half of it and poured the other half in the garden.  The next morning, three plants and 2 possums were dead...

But dont just take my word, try it yourself.  We have too many possums anyway...

 

0/10

Thursday
Jan032013

BAROSSA VALLEY ORGANIC ALE

Barossa Valley Brewing Organic Ale. Epic fail.

I'd kept this beer for the final night of the year and it tastes like someone barbecued a cat turd and dropped it in the bottle.

Zoom in on the pic and look at the flakes of black shit floating through it! What the hell is that all about?

I can only assume something went really wrong with this particular batch, it really tasted like something that had gone off.

One sip then the rest went down the sink.

 

0/10

Thursday
Dec132012

BUDWEISER & CLAMATO

Budweiser & Clamato. As if in recognition that Budweiser is lacking in flavour, they've gone and tossed in some chilli. 

The colour is red and the smell is like a chopped-up capsicum.

It's awfully syrupy and tastes like a combination of tomatoes and jalapeno peppers and it's thicker than the thickest English stout.

It's like drinking a bowl of chilli nachos and leaves a little chilli kick in the aftertaste.

Why they though it necessary to stick this 5% beer in a supersized one-pint can is beyond me. Seriously, you wouldn't drink the whole thing on a bet.

 

0/10

 

Wednesday
Dec122012

BEERLAO LAGER BEER

Beerlao Lager. Graeme Bernauer was right, this is bloody awful.

It tastes like Disprin dissolved in chilled cat piss.

 

0/10