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Entries in 1/10 (31)

Wednesday
Oct092013

WELLS BANANA BREAD BEER

Wells (& Young) Banana Bread Beer. Clear bottle syndrome, also part of my daily fruit portion.

This beer has a beautiful aroma of banana bread; unfortunately I prefer a flat white with my banana bread. The aroma and taste are reminiscent of a good wheat beer, but that is not what this beer is supposed to be. There is a chemical aftertaste that ruins any good impression. This is too sweet and contrived for my liking.

And I still have half the bottle in the fridge! That went down the sink didn’t it.

 

1/10

Monday
Oct072013

LOVERBEER PAPESSA

Loverbeer Papessa. Italian beers; there is something suss about them. So when I saw an Italian Russian Imperial Stout (RIS) I was sceptical. Italian lagers are average at best, let alone making a good RIS. However, a Beerio likes the thrill of trying something different.

It’s dark brown like a porter with a nice dark malt aroma but virtually no head. The first thin you notice it’s incredibly thin, lacking mouthfeel and too carbonated for a RIS. Then comes the assault on the senses - a wave of overpowering acidity. It tastes like you’ve just regurgitated an espresso into your mouth. As it warms up it just tastes more and more like balsamic vinegar.

After taking two more sips I abandoned ship. I asked the barman what the story was. “Yeah it’s a sour beer, that brewery only makes sour beers” he says…. Why you no say this on brewing notes?! Filth.

 

1/10

Saturday
Aug312013

DENNIS BEER CO ROCKET SCIENCE CALIFORNIA ALE

dDennis Beer Co Rocket Science California Ale. The second release from this relatively new NSW brewery is a California Common aka Steam Beer. This style of beer is created by intentionally fermenting lager yeast at temperatures of 18°C, higher than the usual 9 -15°C.

Quite pale in colour, but the most prominent feature is it smells like cat piss. Thin mouthfeel with low carbonation. This tastes rank. It’s like a cat pissed on pub carpet then at the end of the night the cleaner cut out the carpet and squeezed the liquid out into a beer glass.

A lovely trifecta of cat piss, stale beer and tobacco smoke.

Avoid this beer at all costs.

 

1/10

Thursday
Jul252013

ROBINSON'S OLD TOM WITH GINGER

Robinson's Old Tom With Ginger. Robinson's neck label modestly suggests that this is made from a combinaton of the World's Best Ale and Fentiman's Ginger Beer.

It might have been the world's best ale in 1899, when it was first brewed, but palates are a touch more sophisticated these days. I dunno, I'd like to try it without the flattening, sweetening, cloying effect of the ginger beer.

Who knows? The two things might actually work in glasses on their own. They sure don't work together. 

It's almost undrinkable, delivering flat, barely carbonated liquid that just feels like an adulterated version of something else.

Look at it in the shop. Laugh. Move on to something else.

 

1/10

 

Wednesday
Jul242013

HARRINGTON'S HOP TREMOR IPA

Harrington’s Brewers Selection Hop Tremor IPA. I had this on tap last year at The Old Moutere Inn (it claims to be NZ’s oldest pub; nice place) and my scribbled notes are: “golden cloudy, flat, strong hop aroma; tasted good”. Unfortunately I cannot say the same for this bottled beer.

I thought it was a bit over-carbonated until I topped it up and it frothed everywhere. It is way over carbonated. It had the sweet fizzy aroma of a Golden Ale that carried through to the taste. They claim that they use seven hops in this, but I could detect none. There is a nasty chemical taste that made my teeth furry and I struggled to finish it.

While it does me no good, I hope that this is a contaminated sample. Otherwise this is a shit beer.

 

1/10

Friday
Jun142013

961 BEER LEBANESE PALE ALE

961 Beer Lebanese Pale Ale. Well, you’ve got to give it to them, it smells like Lebanese food. On the label, in addition to the usual suspects, are thyme, sumac, camomile, sage, anise and mint. I can here people in Germany screaming Kirchenschändung, das nein Reinheitsgebot!

You can really notice the thyme in the aroma, to the point that it almost smells like a lamb roast.

The taste? Like someone has dropped an entire spice rack into your beer.

The malt flavour clashes harshly with the herbs and spices and the aftertaste is remarkably similar to mouthwash.  

The relatively high 6.3% ABV adds a harsh ethanol taste to it.

It’s like you’ve eaten a kebab, vomited in your mouth then tried to get rid of the taste by rinsing your mouth with Listerine. This is nasty stuff.

 

1/10

Friday
Apr122013

BURLEIGH BREWERY BIGHEAD NO CARB BEER

Burleigh Brewing Bighead No Carb beer. OK, people, let's be clear about this: if you dont want to have carbs in your beer - go and drink vodka, or gin, or cordial. Or drink beer and go for a run so the beer gut doesn't form.

Making a no carb beer is kind of like making chocolate ice cream without the chocolate flavour....  It's fundamentally wrong.

The result - it looks like beer, it smells like beer, but it tastes like something that almosts tastes like flavourless beer.

Nup. 

 

1/10

Sunday
Mar102013

JAMES SQUIRE SUN DOWN AUSTRALIAN LAGER

James Squire Sun Down Lager. This beer should come with all the traditional signs of being awful - be served in clear bottle, have the word premium on its label and be exported.

Alas its failure to have these warnings signs does not prepare you for the awfulness that this bottle contains.

If you like your lagers to taste of commercial chemical horribleness with no discernible beer flavours - then you might like this. On the other hand if you like your beers to have any flavour at all - you'll give this a wide berth.

 

1/10

Monday
Jan282013

MONTSENY WINTER ALE 

The Montseny Winter Ale. Winter beers are a big thing in Europe.

The Germans (who else?) lead the charge with some beautiful, 6% winter brews that are lagers with more gristle and body.

This is a Spanish version from Barcelona (and we had it in Barcelona. In winter) and the main difference is that the Catalans have wintered up an ale, rather than a lager.

The result is, ummm, challenging. It smells like cleaning chemicals with turning eggs tipped in and looks like liquified mud. If only it tasted like liquified mud I'd have at least had the opportunity to relive my childhood.

It is just plain awful. It's clearly unfiltered but the German winter beers tend to give you the unfliltered thing only after the yeast is dead. This thing leaves you with so much gut and throat burn that you can only assume the yeast is still alive and desperate to escape.

But that's after you swallow it. Before you get that far, you've got to run it across your tongue where it leaves painful memories of Marmite mixed with orange peel and sulphuric acid. 

So bad I gave it away to someone who also gave it away to someone else who couldn't finish it, either.

 

1/10

Tuesday
Dec182012

MONKEY WIZARD WINTER WARMER

What was I thinking? Maybe the artwork conjured memories of substance abuse and Ellis D. Fogg light shows.

This spiced ale has cinnamon and ginger and while the taster wasn't bad, I don't know why I bought a "rigger" (1.2l plastic bottle surprisingly popular with the NZ craft brew society); could only stomach two of these glasses. Overpowering spice.

Tasted much better one night later after a dish of very spicy cajun fish.

 

1/10